Twittering turtles?

Let's get this straight, I am a turtle.
Not a social butterfly.
(In fact, I don't even like butterflies. If I see one, I will eat it. Immediately. With no remorse.)
I'm an introvert.
I have one true friend, and that's a human who takes care of my every need.
Why would I want to be in on everyone's business with this twitter thing?
Do I need to know that you're eating toast right now?
Or that you're picking your nose?
Or every little boring thing you do?
No.

Twittering turtles?
No way, man.

(But since my one true friend -- merri30 on twitter -- has an account, I might give it a shot. Just in case she wants to keep track of my busy life:
I'm basking.
Still basking.
Still basking.
Got a great stretch going right now.
Claws unfurling.
Back legs completely outstretched.
Still basking.
Front legs completely outstretched.
Will be basking for next 5 hours.

Who wouldn't be interested in that?)